Crashings

So, I used to think I had the world figured out. But I never would have let you think so. All the same; if you heard me talk back then, it should've stuck out to you like one of those inflatable monsters outside a used car dealer.

It all started with a crash; or rather a series of 'crashings'. But the first was actually, well, a crash (of the common sort at least). Back in summer of 2008, my best 'friend' had inadvertently become my old 1988 Ford Bronco II -nicknamed 'The Red Rover'. I had plenty of awesome, real human friends, but intentional isolation had somehow become a way of life for me. I'd hop in the old Bronco, and disappear somewhere.
Fear of being rejected by my friends led me to go off on hikes or drives that had no purpose other than to run from conflict.

So, as divine providence would have it, conflict came to me. On a hot, lazy disoriented day in mid-September, I got the front end of my beloved Red Rover plowed in by a much sturdier Ford Excursion. I don't know how, but I put a nice face on it. Still, I tore me up inside.
As it was, all the times I'd chose to go waste time in my own world instead of calling and hanging out with one of my friends had taken their toll. Where could I turn now?

Over the next year, I began to see how much damage I'd incurred from my isolation period. I had a lot of nights I woke up screaming from nightmares, or scared so stiff I couldn't move or make a sound. I thought I was doomed.

But God had Mercy in mind as he watched me walk through this. That winter, a family I knew from church offered me an old Jeep they had sitting around -for free. To give a glimpse at the pride I still had lodged in my throat at the time, I almost didn't take it when I discovered it had no 4-wheel drive (only rear-drive; very rare around here -and how can you 'show off' in a Jeep without 4X4? How lame is that?). Thus, another crash; this time a massive head-butt with my own ego. What a head-case I've been! But I took the Jeep anyway.

Fast-forward to summertime again, and I find myself and a good friend discussing the details of a road-trip to Missouri; the first of two that would happen (the second was summer of 2010) but only because I had that Jeep. Go figure! (Crash #3: My 'logic' versus God's will...)

Another thing that happened; spring of 2010 found me sumo-wrestling my ego again. As a Christian, and trying to follow God's call, I found myself with a skateboard in my hands. I Couldn't escape this notion that this was where God wanted me. (What?!!) I got to know all the pot-smoking, beer-drinking, vandalistic heathen in my town that the civilized world knows as 'skaters'. Problem is, they turned out to be real people like the rest of us; -seeing that kind of messes with your brain. Besides, even Jesus went to have dinner with the scum of society. Oh, and then I got hooked on skating. Score!? -Crash #4: Ouch. I guess if God loved scum like me, He loves other 'scum' also. And, skateboards are fun! God might give me something to do that I actually like? Unheard of! (Wait, I think I'm getting the picture...)

And then, this spring came around, and of all inopportune times, I find myself on my 25th birthday in a theater with my family watching 'Soul Surfer' (Bethany Hamilton's story). God had another blow for me. He used a movie and the story of a humble surfer girl I've never met to show me something. I constantly was misjudging people. I couldn't get far enough out of my head and my problems to stop seeing others through the lens of my limited wordlview. And I didn't even know I was doing that. Not only so, but I was just downright cynical about almost everything I saw; suddenly, I didn't have to be. I was free!
Oh, and as icing on the cake, all my old fear of the sea disappeared. I wanted nothing more than to get back to the shoreline. I still remember one night walking along Hampton Beach wading in the surf, and wanting to run and scream like a fool because God was all around, and it was impossible to escape the Love He had for me. (Not like I wanted to escape!)

Romans 11:33-36: "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments, His paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of The Lord? Or who has been His counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen."

It seems God had in mind to assault me. Assault me with Love.
I bought my first surfboard just about a month ago, and even though I haven't had a enough chances to try it, the few I've had are enough to make me cry just thinking of the beauty of God. I can see his glory in every wave that I've run into, ridden, or been swamped by.

I want to share that with everyone I bump into; a chance to get some sand in your shoes. Then, that sand annoys you, so you take your shoes off -wait the sand feels so great...and then one thing after another, and you jump into the ocean. -Kind of like being at a formal party where you're wearing your best outfit (on the hottest day of the year,) and then someone pushes you in the pool. At first you feel angry, but then, you feel refreshed, and shout at everyone what they're missing! What Christ did for all of us was so we could experience Him that way. I hope you will find that out for yourself.

-Aaron Conti