Beautiful Reminders

So, it's been awhile, dear ocean! Like fo'real! 

But today, we met again!

See, I just got back from a surf trip with a good friend a few hours ago. Around here, the water temp this time of year is like 53 degrees Fahrenheit, and the air was around 48 degrees at its best. So, yeah, that means wetsuits. And, it means a bit of courage, if you're beginner (like me). But I keep finding I'm severely motivated when it comes to throwing myself bodily into an onslaught of pounding breakers...

See, I write this blog as a reminder to myself and others about how God shot down my cynicism through the simple beauty of surfing. But it can be hard to stay on track when you're out of your element. So, that's apparently why I inadvertently overheard my friend talking about going for a surf trip..."Ooh! Can I tag along?" Was my immediate response. Y'know, kinda like a kid who just heard the ice cream truck music drift through the midsummer breeze, and then attacks the nerve-racked driver like a fly-ball into left field (trust me on that metaphor; I was an ice cream man once...) God had a plan for my ADD-motivated impromptu eavesdropping...and so, the adventure continues!

    

But it wasn't until the discussion on the drive home when (while I was talking way too much -as usual) it hit me square between the eyes: I'd lost focus! I'd been away from where I need to be!

God gave me this crazy freakin' sweet day; an opportunity to get back on board (no pun intende...oh, forget it; just laugh!) and see around that blind spot which keeps my faith strong. To see another taste of where things are going. An awesome reminder of what I really am because of Jesus.

YEAH!

God bless ya'll this Christmas season...Pray for surf! 

-Aaron Conti

Van(s)! Like, fo'real!

So; in case you hadn't noticed, my blog's name references my favorite skate shoe company, Vans. Of all things, the 'Vans van' showed up at Newpark earlier this week. If it weren't for my being at the church building when my pastor asked me to be, I might've slept in, forgotten to hit up the park, and missed out big time! (I mean, who don't dig free stuff? -Especially when it's cool stuff you actually like...)

 

(Yup. That's my mug. I could smile a bit more...ya think?)

Thanks God! -For setting me up! That was sweet!

-Aaron Conti

...

Waiting. 

...

...What? Oh. You're expecting me to say something else. =D 

The wait is the hardest part. But it always turns out to be the best thing for us. We learn to temper our temper. (?) That's a fancy way to say it. We need to learn to sharpen our focus so we don't freak out when what we're waiting for finally gets there. Well, I guess I'll speak for myself, at least.

I always find myself writing songs about times like this. So, here's one of my latest. You should crash the open mic night (every Friday) at Riverwalk Cafe in Nashua; you might get to hear me play it! I hope you do...

"Praying for surf"

Walk these lonely street-light scenes

I love them, but it's killing me

See, I don't a shell to hear

The waves are calling loud and clear

Chorus: 

Maybe it's time I left this town, time that I moved out

Time I moved down by the sea, It's time I moved out by the sea

Look out at the city lights

Above them all the stars burn bright

See, I don't need a gull to tell

I dream of the blue with its crashing swells

(C)2011 Smallstar Music 

Keep your feet on the board!

-Aaron Conti

Psalm 42

The Ocean Floor

The video below is one of my favorite songs: "Ocean Floor" by Audio Adrenaline.

It's a good look at what God's mercy is really like.

Forgiveness is wonderful.

All the same, it came sharply into focus today what forgiveness implies: when God forgives, He requires forgiveness from us, the forgiven. 

See, this girl once met; I seemed to hit it off with her right away. But I was far to deep in my own sin, and distorted, selfish worldview in order to see her true character. I missed all the signs, and somehow, (thinking I was being helpful -"huh?") said something to her that was completely judgmental, and way off-base. Worse, I blogged about my self-righteous "observations" about what I thought was wrong with my friend (don't bother trying; for good reason, that blog isn't there anymore). It didn't matter that I hadn't used her name, or that I had only like, 2 followers for that site. The damage had been done! And what a catastrophe! 

In her response, she was obviously hurt, and left me scrambling to try to 'tape things up'. How stupid I'd been! I attempted an immediate apology (or rather, just a cover-up to try to make me look good). Of course, it was met with an appropriate reply. In reference to us being friends, I was toast. 

It took a long time (months), but, again God in His mercy cut through my thick skull. I knew I was wrong; this time for sure. I gathered up what threads of courage I had left, and sent an actual apology; this time, serious. I was wrong, and trying to admit it. Weeks passed, -no reply. I just decided it was in God's hands now. What else could I do? Then, this afternoon, I log on, and there's that '1 new message!' flag. The last thing I expected! She'd forgiven me. But she did have this to say:

"I'd like to mention that there are like 20 verses that say not to judge others and that's what you did. Not very Christian of you...

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." ~Matthew 7:1-5

...However I do forgive you."

Ouch. But true.

I was suddenly sobered by what this all meant. I've been given the responsibility to pass forgiveness on to everyone else. 

In Christ's own words:

"'For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your father will not forgive your sins'" (Matthew 6:14-15)

Toss it to the ocean floor! Forgive! And be forgiven! (Sorry, I was talking to myself again!) It's so wonderful to let go.

Besides, it's hard to surf with a backpack full of soggy newspapers...

(=D)

-Aaron Conti

Monday morning...on Thursday?

It's a rainy Thursday. Brilliant. Oh, uh, I meant; Brilliant!!

Monday found me on facebook reading people's gripes about, well, Monday! Monday was sunny. Monday was amazing. Monday was sic, bro! Ok, it tried. It could've done better. Monday, what went wrong? You used to be so much better at this, what happened? I'm disappointed, Monday! And now you're subbing out your duties to Thursday? That's just low.

Anyway, here's to going all 'Chuck Norris' on Monday. Make it feel like itself. Monday is the beginning of the week! Everyone's all into weekends. Yay! Grand finale! Not me. When Monday comes, I've just settled down with some fresh fried dough and an ice cold Dr. Pepper to watch this fireworks show.

Show dumpy days the door! Crack your neck, flex your arm, and be like "whut you got? Bring it!!"
With that, it's time for the daily adventure.

-Aaron Conti

Bored? Get Board!

Inactivity. What a way to waste a life!
See, dreams are great; but if they never develop kinetics, they remain only potential. Such has been a constant brain stump I keep tripping over.

I love to dream big. But to put some wheels under it, I kinda just sit back and go for another cup of coffee. Then I'm bored, and I've wasted another day with nothing to console me except having satisfactorily obliterated the better part of a five-dollar bill on a tall Verona and a scone at the local Starbucks. Bored, and dreaming my life away.

The day I finally picked up my first skateboard, I 'd already been to that same Wal-Mart multiple times (I know, 'Wal-Mart?') I'd decided to get the cheapest starter deck I could find that looked sturdy enough to work for me. Of course, actually following through with your swing is a bit hard; at least, if you're like me.
See, I quietly envied skater-types. I wished I could do the cool tricks they could; but them was heathens, bro! What, me? Skate? Not on a million bucks!
I had all this 'holier than thou' nonsense spinning in my brain like a caffeinated hamster on a wheel that just got a fresh coating of WD-40 on its bearings. That is, until God tossed some chewing gum in the works.
"Go skate." Me: "What??!" God: "Go skate!" Me: "Um, ok. Soon." God: "NOW." Me: "Alright, already!"
That checkout line was, -short. I felt like everyone was watching. My pride was screaming toward earth in a graveyard-spiral, and I'd just managed to bail out in time. (It's hilarious to see in retrospect. I'm cracking up just recounting it.)

Hey you want to see a clown? No, not those rubber-nosed pajama wearing freaks in mime makeup with tiny hats and ginormous shoes at the circus. That's not a real clown. A clown is what I became showing up to the local skatepark in cross training shoes (no real skate shoes yet) with bicycle helmet from ten years ago, and a complete set of knee and elbow pads. -And that Wal-Mart deck. One word: RIDICULOUS.
But at this point, I was dead serious. I was going to learn to skate no matter what. Over time, I upgraded all my equipment to pro-grade stuff, and now, -though I'm still learning, I can rip that park like crazy.
(That pic below is actually another park. I just couldn't find the pic I was looking for. =P )

Then, just about a month ago, it was time for a new disaster. A new dream was calling; and all that skateboarding had been prepping for it. So, with an extra hundred bucks I'd got (unexpectedly through a side job) I was on my way to that surf shop in North Hampton. There'd been this board I'd seen there (used and beat up) that was in my price range. When I bought it, I was so calm. A purchase like that should've given me a migraine. But after some prayer, and discussing my concerns with a friend, I knew it was now or never. I wasn't even able to try it out that day. But I felt like I'd won a victory. Not that I just wasted $99 on a fiberglass-sheathed foam plank, but that I'd overcome fear. It didn't matter anymore what anyone thought of me. I was where I was meant to be. I'd begun a new adventure; I'd started the process of turning dream into reality. I'd started to turn potential into kinetic. But only by the grace of God.

I love the ocean. And amidst all the 'heathens' (normal real people) I've skated by at surfside, God is there. The surf reminds me of His love. All I (we) need do is just dive in!

-Aaron Conti

(=D)

Crashings

So, I used to think I had the world figured out. But I never would have let you think so. All the same; if you heard me talk back then, it should've stuck out to you like one of those inflatable monsters outside a used car dealer.

It all started with a crash; or rather a series of 'crashings'. But the first was actually, well, a crash (of the common sort at least). Back in summer of 2008, my best 'friend' had inadvertently become my old 1988 Ford Bronco II -nicknamed 'The Red Rover'. I had plenty of awesome, real human friends, but intentional isolation had somehow become a way of life for me. I'd hop in the old Bronco, and disappear somewhere.
Fear of being rejected by my friends led me to go off on hikes or drives that had no purpose other than to run from conflict.

So, as divine providence would have it, conflict came to me. On a hot, lazy disoriented day in mid-September, I got the front end of my beloved Red Rover plowed in by a much sturdier Ford Excursion. I don't know how, but I put a nice face on it. Still, I tore me up inside.
As it was, all the times I'd chose to go waste time in my own world instead of calling and hanging out with one of my friends had taken their toll. Where could I turn now?

Over the next year, I began to see how much damage I'd incurred from my isolation period. I had a lot of nights I woke up screaming from nightmares, or scared so stiff I couldn't move or make a sound. I thought I was doomed.

But God had Mercy in mind as he watched me walk through this. That winter, a family I knew from church offered me an old Jeep they had sitting around -for free. To give a glimpse at the pride I still had lodged in my throat at the time, I almost didn't take it when I discovered it had no 4-wheel drive (only rear-drive; very rare around here -and how can you 'show off' in a Jeep without 4X4? How lame is that?). Thus, another crash; this time a massive head-butt with my own ego. What a head-case I've been! But I took the Jeep anyway.

Fast-forward to summertime again, and I find myself and a good friend discussing the details of a road-trip to Missouri; the first of two that would happen (the second was summer of 2010) but only because I had that Jeep. Go figure! (Crash #3: My 'logic' versus God's will...)

Another thing that happened; spring of 2010 found me sumo-wrestling my ego again. As a Christian, and trying to follow God's call, I found myself with a skateboard in my hands. I Couldn't escape this notion that this was where God wanted me. (What?!!) I got to know all the pot-smoking, beer-drinking, vandalistic heathen in my town that the civilized world knows as 'skaters'. Problem is, they turned out to be real people like the rest of us; -seeing that kind of messes with your brain. Besides, even Jesus went to have dinner with the scum of society. Oh, and then I got hooked on skating. Score!? -Crash #4: Ouch. I guess if God loved scum like me, He loves other 'scum' also. And, skateboards are fun! God might give me something to do that I actually like? Unheard of! (Wait, I think I'm getting the picture...)

And then, this spring came around, and of all inopportune times, I find myself on my 25th birthday in a theater with my family watching 'Soul Surfer' (Bethany Hamilton's story). God had another blow for me. He used a movie and the story of a humble surfer girl I've never met to show me something. I constantly was misjudging people. I couldn't get far enough out of my head and my problems to stop seeing others through the lens of my limited wordlview. And I didn't even know I was doing that. Not only so, but I was just downright cynical about almost everything I saw; suddenly, I didn't have to be. I was free!
Oh, and as icing on the cake, all my old fear of the sea disappeared. I wanted nothing more than to get back to the shoreline. I still remember one night walking along Hampton Beach wading in the surf, and wanting to run and scream like a fool because God was all around, and it was impossible to escape the Love He had for me. (Not like I wanted to escape!)

Romans 11:33-36: "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments, His paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of The Lord? Or who has been His counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen."

It seems God had in mind to assault me. Assault me with Love.
I bought my first surfboard just about a month ago, and even though I haven't had a enough chances to try it, the few I've had are enough to make me cry just thinking of the beauty of God. I can see his glory in every wave that I've run into, ridden, or been swamped by.

I want to share that with everyone I bump into; a chance to get some sand in your shoes. Then, that sand annoys you, so you take your shoes off -wait the sand feels so great...and then one thing after another, and you jump into the ocean. -Kind of like being at a formal party where you're wearing your best outfit (on the hottest day of the year,) and then someone pushes you in the pool. At first you feel angry, but then, you feel refreshed, and shout at everyone what they're missing! What Christ did for all of us was so we could experience Him that way. I hope you will find that out for yourself.

-Aaron Conti